What in interesting use of free will
Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.
Among everybody here, you have the most potential to learn something.
I’ve been told that a few times…
I don’t have one in English, but I have some in German for those who understand.
My Granddad had a female coworker that was higher in rank than him. He would always greet her with “Meine Allerwerteste”. It’s a word play because “Meine Werteste” is equivalent to a very formal version of “my dear”. “Aller” is a superlative form, so basically “My very dearest”. But “Mein Allerwertester” (so the male form of what he used) means “my ass”.
The other one is to use terminology like “Er versucht immer sein Bestes zu geben” (“He always tries to give his best”). In Austria, you are legally allowed to ask for a work testimony from your employer when you are looking for a new job. There is some legislation that prohibits negative speech in these work testimonies so that your employer cannot make you look bad in front of your potential new employer (which makes the whole concept pretty useless, but it is what it is). So to get around that, employers adopted a kind of “secret” code where e.g. “tries to” means “fails to”. So you can use the same kind of terminology to deliver something that sounds like a compliment, but for everyone in the know (which is most people by now) it’s clear that you deeply offended the person you are talking about.
What you lack in evidence or convincing argument, you make up with conviction.
That’s the trick. End with the part that sounds nice
You’re really at the top of the bell curve!
Your ratio of words to significance is extremely high
Look up Shakespeare’s insults. They’re literally classic.
Shakespeare had a banger.
“I was going to challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.”
I also like.
“I could agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”
“I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
A former co-worker got me with this one many years ago. I laughed out loud. I’ve never forgotten it.
I fucked your cousin
😀😀😀…😠
I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
I see you are not hindered by the restrictions of logic.
“My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”
-Malcom Reynolds, CAPT.
Almost every British insult is like this.
- I admire your courage in wearing that!
- Your personality is unique.
- I’m genuinely impressed by your unconventional approach to social intercourse.
- Your hair is magnificent, does it grow everywhere like that?
- You have such a tremendous, characterful appearance. Ever thought about a career in radio?
- You’re really very special, aren’t you?
Best one is to respond to something they say with “Oh that’s quite interesting” in the flatest tone possible, then move the conversation on to a different topic or exit.
Works particularly well on Americans because in American English “quite” is an amplifier modifier but their brain will be confused by the flat (not sarcastic) tone.
