I go to see the same guy every time. Have done for years. We talk a bit, but we don’t need to. He knows what I want and cracks on.

TASSIVE MITS

As pleasant as that looks, it matters not to me.

I ask my barber for the “full works”, sit back, and close my eyes for half hour listening to whatever generic chilled dance playlist he’s got going on YouTube. It could be a dude, a woman, or anything in between, it doesn’t matter.

When he slaps my shoulders and says “ok boss, what do you think?”, that’s my cue to get up and leave.

It’s my brief moment of indulgence every other month or so. Bliss.

Had one on my sisters wedding day. Made my face hurt. Probably not as nice as the one pictured.

Had my head and face shaved in Toulons when the submarine I was on pulled in there.

I don’t remember my barber looking anything like this, though.

Did I get ripped off?

I can definitely see a unique selling point here.