Stop flirting with me.

Grandma, grandpa anyone really. They say “the fun isn’t in the face”. While true, with a good gummy, the fun really is IN the face.

Forgive me. I am old and not up to date on the latest Shitpost writing style guide. I was only trained in AMA, APA and the Geological Society’s Style Guide.

Replace the sad weiner with a glorious sausage, update the ground meat with jalapenos, minced onions and cheese and this become S-tier food for cookouts, tailgate parties, backyard barbecues and pubs.

*Latvian crying intensifies.

I just updated my post with a link to the appropriate source.

Hey. This is a shitpost. That was a dark humour joke. Don’t look at me like I’m the weirdo here. Context matters Monsieur or Madamme LeBuzzkill.

Edit: For the record, I upvoted your comment because in true shitpost fashion, the fight after a shitpost is half the fun, and speaks to the very heart of shitposting. You played your role well. Touché pussycat.

Looks like someone doesn’t understand “The Gummy”. It’s why abusive husbands punch out teeth and why you can never really age out of prostitution. While your prime earning years may be behind you, you can alway put a roof over your head and food on the table with good gummy. Make sure you get a good denturist.

Edit: Tough crowd. Dark humour isn’t easy.

Edit 2: Update with technical reference.

Edit 3: References. I swear I once saw a daytime talkshow like Phil Donahue, Geraldo Rivera or Maury Povich that was along the lines of “My teenaged daughter had her teeth removed on purpose to better please her new husband and I helped her do it.” I just can find the reference.

Edit 4: Now illustrated.

This is just the most immediate face of their food problem. 1 Billion people + rapidly depleting groundwater + rapidly depleting glacial water + climate change = famine. Everyone is vulnerable but few moreso than india.

At first I was gonna say, maybe morality isn’t subjective. Maybe its just our perception of morality that is, and that as an intelligence constrained by our meat, the subjectivity is just a naturally occuring conceptual filter construct that creates the illusion of subjectivity.

Then I realized, I should have just said “yeah”.

With apologies to Mitch Hedberg.

Like many claim satire is dead because it is indistinguishable from real news, this makes me think shitposting will suffer the same fate.

Now where can I buy this?

I hope one day we mature as a species and abandon militarism. It’s a VERY faint hope. Until then, yes. Build your own.

Don’t buy weapons from unreliable actors.

I claim full control of all of uninhabited Siberia on behalf of the New Mongolian Empire.

At this point, why wouldn’t they?

Me cave exploring and thowing a glow stick down the hole.

“Wow, déja-vue. I feel like my ex-wife and I have been here before.”

Giant rock-monster fleshlight.

“They knew”

The definition of a great shitpost.

Neither. Guess again.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)