He Slobbered on my low, say what?

Roomba VS Womb-ba

I own a weaponized Roomba for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. ‘What the devil?’ As I grab my powdered wig and activate my autonomous sentry unit.

It bumps into the first man. Click-clack. The mounted 1911 fires a .45 ACP round, dropping him instantly. ‘Good lord!’ cries the second, but the Roomba pivots, its optical sensors locking on. It unleashes a suppressed burst from the top-mounted M4 carbine, shredding his lace cuffs.

The remaining two try to flee up the stairs, but they trigger the tripwire. The Claymore mine strapped to the dustbin detonates with a deafening roar, sending shrapnel through the foyer wallpaper. The last survivor, trembling in the corner, thinks he’s safe until he hears the whirring. The downstairs Roomba Mop Combo engages its miniature, high-torque chainsaw. It drags itself toward him, cleaning up the mess as it goes.

It’s like that dude at a party that keeps trying to fight people for no reason but his girlfriend holds him back…

So powerful and scary

I buy mine dehydrated to save on shipping, just add water.

That was a narrative for Covid19 death report denial as well.

Welp. I messed up and now I’m banned from Reddit again.

Odd that they made this one permanent, it was arguably the least offensive thing I posted today.

Kids today don’t know what brain rot really is.

We saw the photos.

And the videos, when we “borrowed” that unmarked VHS tape from our wired uncle… Faces of Death.