Stay away from me and my girlfriend please

Oh sheesh top left looks a lot like my ex. Scared me for a sec.

I don’t have that kind of time

I get it. The pizza slicer pushes pepperoni and other toppings down which smushes the cheese and sauce out the size, then you have an uneven distribution of cheese/sauce. So either you have an uneven distribution of pepperoni, an uneven distribution of cheese/sauce, or you spend a great deal of time placing your pepperoni so that they’re perfectly positioned away from your cut lines.

Kinda reminds me of…