She only has herself to blame, like she was supposed to be there when you were 7, not 33.

Yeah, but, like, could you imagine getting your ass kicked by Gillian Anderson? That would be hot as fuck.

Their prostate must have looked like a dehydrated pumpkin

The interesting thing is that there are surprising numbers of similarities between Trump and syphilis.

One, you typically only get either of them when you’ve been doing something you shouldn’t have been doing, but there are also a myriad number of innocent victims who truly do not deserve it.

Two, both of them will destroy you if you don’t get rid of them.

Three, you’re fucking anyone that you give them to, and possibly also their spouses and children and the future generations that linger on afterwards.

Four, they’re both much worse when you give them to the underaged

Five, the minds of people who’ve had them long enough get damaged, and in some cases they even are grateful for having got them in the first place, attributing having received supernatural powers thanks to them.

Six, thanks to modern technology, they can technically both be cured with a shot.

This guy was damned and determined to be able to jack off to his own reflection in the mirror by any means necessary.

prefer the pubes but I’ll nibble on the shaft

It truly is the ultimate solution for caring.

Yeah, the classic “movie sword being unsheathed” sound would be perfect.

The scabs make texture for their pleasure.

I go back to Glenn Close in Hook with the boo box. Even knowing it’s Glenn Close its hard to tell that isn’t a man getting thrown into the boo box by hook.

Isn’t this the guy that replaced his YouTube channel with an AI avatar of himself? Kwebblepop or whatever?

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.— Mark Twain